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My child killed your child at the Lord of the Flies Day Care
(Follow this link for more insight on creative daycare names--ed.)

I am an Early Childhood Professional. I have devoted my life to the well being of very young children.

My own failings as a Mother aside, I now plead for the returned dignity of young children.

This means that young children should never have to be in places that bear the following words within their names, in ANY combination

1. Lil' - This is terrible! Who thought this would be charming? This is my all time most disliked attempt at a word in any name of ANY facility. I almost immediately hate a place with "L'il" in the title, simply on principal.

2. Little - We get it - they're small people!

3. Precious, Treasures, Happy, Jolly - Any name with this title can almost be guaranteed to be the exact opposite of the adjective being used.

4. Angels, Cherubs, Leprechauns, Munchkins, Pixies, Hellhounds, Ogres, Wraiths or any other fantasy creature.

5. Kidz - Welcome to the illiterate preskool. Now give us your mooney.

6. Words that are spelled alike ( ie Kidz Kollege) . If you are a parent with more than a GED, you should know better than to place your child in a program like this. I like alliteration as much as the next person, but honestly.

7. Titles with Animals: Farm Friends , Happy Bears, Kute Kritters,Busy Bees, Angry Ants, Irritated Iguanas, Gnarly Guinea Pigs, Lethal Leopards - GIVE IT A REST!

8. The word Tot. Paired with Express. Double the misery.

9. Titles combined with other titles : ie: The Bloody crucifixion of Christ Happy Days Child Care. The mental images are alarming enough.

10. "Animal Farm Day Care": I about fell off of my chair when I first saw this as a name for a child care center. Can you see it? Drop off you child and when you return, they will have killed and eaten a classmate. Why not just "Lord of the Flies* Daycare?"

This goes hand in hand with "Playmates Learning Center". Do you find that you don't have enough time in your day to school your daughter in the art of seduction? Would you like your child to be well versed in the different breast implants they could get?

I apologize in advance if your child attends any of the above programs.
-- Posted by Dawn 18-Oct-05 on her "I am doing the best I can" blog

*Animal Farm = 1945 novella by George Orwell, and is the most famous satirical allegory of Soviet totalitarianism.
**
Lord of the Flies = 1954 novel by William Golding about a shipwrecked band of civilized young children who become savages
 

Last updated:  09/30/2008
 

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